Archives for August 2013

Back to school shortcut

Man, I love my hubby’s thinkin’
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words for the friend who just announced she’s getting divorced

I remember a time almost 10 years ago where I felt like the sound went out around me, everything was caving in on me and I was trying not to black out. I was just informed by my then husband of 5 years that he didn’t want to be married anymore.  I remember thinking of our 3 year old, thinking how did I not see this coming, feeling like I had just failed on the biggest stage of my life.  A spent a few hours in denial, then a few days in shock then months in tears and more denial.  Then something took over me that told me I’d be okay, life would go on. On some deeper level I knew that I would come out of that situation stronger and wiser then I had gone into it.  But it was a hard, yucky time. I was annoyed with the world, annoyed with people around me and mostly annoyed with myself.

I moved back to Minnesota (from Dallas) and while sharing a bedroom with my daughter in my parent’s house, I began to put my life back together.  I made lists of all the things I had given up on that I wanted to add back into my life.  I made lists of career options.  I made graphs and charts of all the areas of my life; career, health, finances, hobbies, goals, travel, living, relationships. I noted where I was, where I wanted to be.  What I needed to add into my life, who and what needed to go.  It was hard but thankfully this energy took over and helped me go through it.  I never expected those few years following to be the beginning of the greatest years of my life.

I was lucky to have a few level headed friends and family members around me to help keep me moving forward.  I’ll never forget my dearest soul sister telling me, “You can handle this like they would on Springer or Oprah” . Wow, there were some pop culture words of wisdom that I have never forgotten.

I wanted to give back and help others so I’ve created a Divorce Manifesto.  This is a FREE printable guide that is perfect for women going through a divorce. You can pass it along to anyone you know who could use this tool in their life right now.  Print it, put it by your desk, on your bathroom mirror, in your car or wherever you find yourself needing a boost and reminder of how to not only survive the divorce experience but turn it into a time where you get to know yourself, honor yourself and reset your life path. You can can find a free download here or you can right click the image below:

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Are you going through this journey of a divorce?  You may be interested in these blog posts:

http://noellerollinsart.com/i-give-you-permission-to-say-no-2/

http://noellerollinsart.com/sophistication/

If you’ve used this Divorce Manifesto and it’s helped you, I would love to hear about it. Email me and tell me all about it. Thanks!

Being Brave and facing fear head on – and some BIG NEWS!!

Spoiler alert: BIG news being shared in this post. I’d love for you to read the whole thing but if you just can’t wait and want to read the news first scroll to the bottom!

I am doing the bravest thing yet in my life and I need your help to make it happen.

Life is full of daily lists, to do’s, obligations. Within every second of my free time, moments between conscious thoughts are filled with my dreams. There are also my regrets. I live a good life. I have my 2 kids and a dog, my dream man as my husband and a family I am so proud to have grown up in.

Yet, I know that as an old woman someday I want to be able to tell my children, “Don’t spend every day in your safe, perfect little world. Help others, get out of your comfort zone, be bigger than you think you can be.”  I want to be able to look them in the eye and say with full certainty that I lived a life full of love and also full of a knowing and a connected-ness to others.

I watch clips of marches in the 60’s, Holocaust stories and I like to tell myself that I would have marched, I would have spoke up. I would have made myself vulnerable for the good of all people.

I know that I was put here on this earth to use my artwork to speak messages of hope, light and love. I know I am here to be a light. I know that I am here not as a midwestern, blond haired, blue eyed girl that gets to stay in a safe bubble.  I am here to connect people. I am here to help people see the other side, to love themselves, to love each other. I believe we are all connected and when one of us hurts, it hurts all of us. I know this.

So when I found out a group of Braveheart women were going to Jerusalem to work with women and start to plant the seeds of peace and hope to the places that need to hear it in this world I cried with happiness for them. Yes “them”.  At first I admit, I said that sounds amazing… for someone.  But not me; I have young kids, I could never raise that amount of money, who do I think I am to get to do something so big?

Then a month passed and I started dreaming about it, I started thinking about the what ifs. What if I didn’t let my fear of the unknown stop me? What if I stepped up and fully owned the power to make a difference that I have? What if I faced fear straight on and beat it? Wow. What if…  So that’s what I’m doing. I laid out all the “what if’s”  and worked out how we would handle them and with my family’s support I signed up. I grew up a little bit that day.

 

Click here to read more, visit my fundraising site and see all the new free gifts I’m giving away as thank you’s for donations!!

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As most of you know I’m also selling beautiful bracelets to support my journey to the Israeli-Palestinian region.  I just got 80+ new ones in yesterday and have them all loaded in my store now. You will LOVE them.  These have a dragonfly on each side of the flower.  These are roses blooming.  There are new multicolored ones, and dainty ones. You will love. You can see them all (sorted by colors or styles) here.   These make a great gift and all the new styles only have 2 of each bracelet in each color so some will go fast.  These make a beautiful gift for the women in your life.  For around $100 you can get 3 bracelets, 1 for yourself and 2 for sisters, girlfriends, daughters, etc.  Each come in a purple organza bag with a card explaining a bit about the project.  Each time you wear the bracelet you know that you are connected to a large group of women from around the world working together, knowing that peace begins with us.   I’ve had a few women that have bought bracelets and loved them so much and what they stand for that they wanted to show their friends and families.  I have enough bracelets for 11 friends who will each take 11 bracelets to your circle of friends.  I will give you paperwork that explains the project and as a thank you when you sell the 10 bracelets I will gift one to you for free.  Plus, there is no money due up front. If this interests you please let me know.  I will make sure to say thank you publicly on my website also!

 

BIG NEWS!!!!! –

Braveheart has changed up the way the trip is going to happen.  There is a beautiful woman named Tamara who is from Canada, she has felt so moved by this project that she has been living alternating between the Israeli side and the Palestinian side over in that region. She has been coordinating the continued gatherings over there. What she’s finding is that she doesn’t believe she’ll have any problems getting the 333+ women from each side but she is finding that the process of really and truly gaining trust, friendship and women with a shared goal may take a  little longer than May of 2014.  A certain percentage of women (just like here in the US) may attend the event just out of curiousity, free food, etc).  There is a big difference in those who casually attend and the women that feel deeply called to carry out an ongoing sisterhood from an authentic place.  That coupled with 300 women from the US, many who have never had to raise money, some are getting a slow start.  So what Braveheart has done is reduce the 2014 trip in 1/2 of what it was planned to be.  They have then moved the large event to May of 2015.  This will give women that are a bit slower at raising money until 2015 to do so.  Let me just be clear, I AM NOT going to be one of those women.  Here is the good news. As an incentive to those of us who have been fundraising and reaching our goals and are super motivated to go over there and make a difference, when I raise my money by early spring of 2014 Braveheart has decided to honor us by including BOTH the 2014 and the 2015 trip for the original amount that I am raising.  That is AMAZING!!  So essentually now every donation is having double the impact and getting me a trip there both times. This includes airfare, food and hotel and event both times!!  I am going to be very honest, my goal is to raise the majority of my funding by the end of this year.  I want this for a few reasons, I want to show people that it can be done, I want to be able to move into a more peaceful stage of planning instead of still fundraising next year and I like the challenge. It scares me a bit so that must mean something good.   So now you can go back to the top and read a bit more that I haven’t shared before about why I want to be a part of this journey.

Say No or Say Yes. Just make a decision.

There is an incredible power that comes from being able to quickly analyze a situation and make a decision.  People worry about making the wrong decision, I get that.  There are times where a deeper level of breaking down options and benefits, etc is needed.  But let me say clearly: not making a decision is STILL making a decision!  Think about that, by putting off making a decision there are often consequences to that choice also. I’ve watched many people around me become nearly paralyzed with fear of making a wrong decision so they don’t make them.

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So yes, by being in denial that your kid is on drugs and not being sure what to do… that is doing nothing essentially until you DO SOMETHING. In a bad relationship and yet it’s just easier to stay because you don’t want to deal with deciding to end it or not? That is making the decision to stay every day until you make a different choice.  There are times where you know you need to do something but it’s not the right time.  Make a conscious to wait to make the choice. Awareness is everything.

I was sitting having coffee this week with my sweetheart summer intern Holly. She was interviewing me for a follow up to her internship for school.  Then she was sharing about what she has learned.  One point she brought up was that she had learned about managing risk, how business owners will have to make choices, analyze options, etc. She talked about how valuable it was watching me make the decision to close my studio in order to expand my business in other areas. How she watched me take into account the risks, the benefits and bottom line financial effects.  It was such a cool treat for me to hear her tell me that. I’ve never taken college business courses so I wouldn’t have used those words but yes, I had to admit that’s exactly what I did.  She asked me about how I was able to make such a fast choice. Here is what I said:

“I have watched people not be able to make decisions around me for years, it makes me crazy. I have a belief that people need to build that decision making muscle and remember even if they make the wrong choice then they can make another choice after that. There is also something about being very in tune with my intuition and my gut feelings about the situation. Many times there are clues along the way that we ignore but if we start being aware of them and making mental notes of them then it makes it much easier when it’s time to make a decision.  Like with me and studio, I’m not against having a studio but for me right now I didn’t need to have that studio. Someday maybe I’ll decide I want one again. We’ll see”

This sometimes can also go hand in hand with knowing you need to set a boundary but you are afraid to.

See this post for my thoughts on that. http://noellerollinsart.com/i-give-you-permission-to-say-no-2/

What decisions are you putting off making? Have you been guilty of this?  I’ve read and heard about many different tools for making decisions. One of my favorites is the 10-10-10 rule.  Analyze how your decision will affect you in 10 minutes.  Then how it will affect you in 10 days.  Lastly, what are the benefits, downsides of your decision 10 years from now?  Often what happens for me is that I’ll realize I’m make a big deal about nothing. So many of the decisions we make will have no affect on our lives even 10 days from now. Then you can also really train your brain to look at the big picture as well.   You can also consider who will be affected by your decision.

When I was a project manager our goal with projects was to finish a project while staying within our budget of money, time and resources.  What is the effect of your choice in each of these areas?

Good luck and happy decision making!