Rewire your thinking! Shine your light brighter in the world!

Sunset glowing

Caribbean Sunset – 2017

 

I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago.  She was sharing how she had quit smoking earlier this year, slowly she’s started to reward herself with pampering and self care. She’s been putting the money that previously went towards cigarettes, instead towards massages, clothing and fabulous hair.  I was so proud of her and loved hearing about her doing that for herself.

Then she shared how she had been talking to another woman about this and that person had said something like this to her, “oh, are you going to become all high maintenance now?”.   A seemingly simple comment, probably meant to be funny….. yet completely loaded with judgment.   It left me wondering, why are we so quick to bring each other back down to whatever level we think they should be at to keep us comfortable?   It’s not like my friend has dropped everything and developed an all consuming clubbing habit at age 50 and was putting her family at jeopardy…  she was doing things within her budget and available time that made her feel good.   She was grasping onto a hope that she could keep on keeping on by making herself see how good it feels to treat her body good; to never want to crave a cigarette again, to honor herself for doing something that is so amazing.   We should have a parade in her honor! NOT tear her down.  Have you been in her position?

From the outside perspective it’s so much easier to see how a person can start to dim their own light.  We speak up, we feel good and if we don’t have a strong enough support system or our internal knowing isn’t strong enough yet in that area then once we face resistance we question ourselves.

I know I’ve experienced this so often.  There are many ways in which I’ve always been just a bit on the outside of what seemed like “everyone else”.  From day one, left handed.  Then an artist that loves art but never quite felt like I fit in with the artists…  I was a mixture of the smart kid, the athlete, the artist… yet not really completely any of them.  As an adult I married early and became a mom while everyone else was single and having fun. Then just as everyone around me was getting married and starting to have babies… I was a divorced and then a single mom…   Then a vegetarian for over a decade, then not, then the mom who cloth diapered, and then home schooled while also the mom to the social butterfly, daughter who loves everything about public school.  A stay at home mom who also works from home.  In virtually every area of my life I have to face feeling like I don’t fit in completely… and yet I’ve learned to see that this is where I find my superpowers… my uniqueness and what gloriously separates me from the masses.  A uniquely, perfect perspective that there isn’t an “us” and “them” or success or failure; there are are layers between.

 

What has helped me to find peace in this area?  Mentors, seeing people who are so different and wildly successful and happy.  Seeing my friends who stay home and raise their children and are so amazing at it.  Seeing other friends who run successful businesses and are so tapped into their callings while also raising awesome kiddos.  Seeing retired women who have so much fire in their bellies and are so full of dreams and life.  Seeing the friends who go to work each day and are unapologetic about their passion for living life on their terms.   There is no right answer, only what is right for us, our families, our purpose, our knowing.

Back to my friend who I started this post about, for her it is so perfectly fabulous that she is embracing this time for her and honoring what she knows she needs.  That is not to take anything away from the other amazing women who have no desire to have a massage or new clothes and yet are perfectly content.  For one person it may be taking time to simply indulge is music and solitude, for another it may be a weekend retreat or business conference, for me I light up from my soul on out when I see new places and get to take in beautiful scenery and share those experiences with people I love.  Pay attention to the moments you feel the most peaceful or the experiences you find yourself craving. Those things that can help you to access your own knowing.

What does it mean to shine your light?  To me it means to to honor yourself and trust yourself enough to speak up when you see a wrong, to speak up in support of what is right no matter how unpopular.  It means embracing and celebrating your gifts, your talents, the fruits of your hard work.  It means being a beacon of hope for others, being the truest version of you.  Cutting away the distractions, the stresses that hold you back. It means being so true to your deepest, wisest knowing that you can’t help but inspire others to be more true to themselves.

I have a free bonus gift I’d love to share with you, 3 steps you can take right now to drastically reduce stress in your life so you can shine your own light brighter!  Easy things you can do TODAY to change your life. You can click the image or click here to receive it.

For me, when I’m shining my light it means I’m honoring my optimism, my belief in the good in people, it means I’m a warrior for love and good in the world.  It means I’m taking time to get quiet and tune in, I’m creating artwork or writing. I’m at peace with my desire for me time and honoring my inner introvert that needs rejuvenating time.

What inspires you when you see it modeled in others?  What have you witnessed other women or men do that you thought was so badass that you wished you had the guts to do it?  How about simple gifts they have given themselves that you admire? Make a note of those things.  You don’t have to do them, but they are clues.  Start collecting clues. Start honoring when you feel in the flow.   Don’t forget to download my free gift to you here to take the next steps in stripping away stresses to help reveal the real you and help you shine your light brighter in this world that so needs your light!

Sending you so much love!

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t forget you can get this free gift from me to you! Just click the image below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

could this be contentment?

 

I have a confession to make.

I have been experiencing something. It’s snuck up slowly.

I’ve tried to deny it, rename it, question it.

But friends, I believe it’s called Contentment.

Sunset 30 miles north off the coast of Cuba, taken this February.

After years of believing that I always have to be moving forward, growing, taking on more and more.  I’ve reached a place where I finally trust that no, right now for me;  I want to sit and bask in this time.  I don’t want to expand the time I put into my business, I don’t want to be involved in large numbers of art shows and networking and online classes.  I don’t want to join a bunch of mom groups.  I love my life right now.

After years of diligently looking at all my commitments and areas of stress, many which I wrote about in my ebook Finding myself in the Moonlight, I have added in breathing room and space into all areas of my life.  I’ve learned to trust myself more than ever before.  We’ve busted our asses for years and finally gotten to a financially free place where the only debt we have in the world isour home.  It’s truly freeing.  After years of having my head down and checking off an endless list of to-do’s I finally feel like I am in that place I prayed for so many times.

 

I’ll never stop learning (in fact I’m listening to a TED talk right now while typing this) but what I am getting better at is looking at classes and programs and knowing that now is not the time for most of them.  I’m still growing and learning and in fact my faith and spirituality is deeper than ever. Prayers and meditations and time in nature have all helped me to feel a contentment that I’ve never felt before. 

I share this to offer hope.  This may surprise you but I’m rebellous to my core.  I’m a rule following rebel I suppose.  I love to do good, I love to find good in others… but… the  minute society or people tell me that something should be done a certain way.. I question it.   It works though; I’m the happiest person I know.  I don’t feel like I need to do things the way everyone does them.   We all have areas we feel that pressure from. Here are some of the choices I’ve made that work for me (us) that have lead me more towards contentment:

  • moving 40 miles from the cities to a property where we can grow food, embrace nature, have a workshop to build and create in.  We are tucked into the trees and have privacy and also the rejunating energy of nature.  We get a whole floor to ourselves and the kids have their own bathroom, all in our cozy little 1500 sq. foot house.
  • getting out of debt.  We paid off $48k in just under 2 years (you can read about that here).  What that has done to our lives and the peace it has brought since though has blown my mind. We recently were able to take our kids on a week long cruise to Belize and also do a small road trip after we got off the ship and see the Everglades and visit a state park in the Florida keys.  The best part; we paid cash for the trip. It is so freeing to be able to plan and save and pay for a trip like that and come home and still have money in a savings account.  We worked so hard for so many years saving every penny, selling things and praying that I share that to say all that sacrifice was worth it.  
  • Homeschooling our youngest. Our oldest is in public high school and she thrives and loves it, I was faced last year with a decision to homeschool our youngest.  While I admit I wouldn’t prefer to have homeschooled my oldest, each kid is different and it has been the right decision to homeschool our little guy. And we LOVE it.  Just this morning in fact, sitting with him and watching him learn to read.  It’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve gotten to do in my life. Teaching him about living from the heart, music and the arts, endless time for science and real life experiences.  I am so incredibly grateful for this time, piecing together a curriculum and resources so I can connect him with learning opportunities that help him become the best whole health and knowledgeable person he can be.
  • Our 16 year old just got her driving permit and I’ve had a similar feeling teaching her to drive. It’s so special to get to witness and be a part of that growth. In a world where everyone’s first reaction is to go to the fearful side of this time, and yes of course that part is there too; I’m choosing to really honor the blessings that this stage of life is bringing for her and us.
  • This past holiday season I did something that I had never done before.  After years of doing holiday art and craft shows and in person shows, hauling all my work from place to place, getting sitters and paying entrance fees I turned them all down and trusted this little voice inside that knew I could do it my own way. (At least for now, with kids at home I have found myself losing interest in shows. There is only 1 that I love where the people and atmoshpere and crowd are so amazing that I may keep doing it, we’ll see – lookup 4Angels boutiques if you’re curious)   Instead I offered very specific items online including remembrance ornaments and sold hundreds of them. I also got a chance to connect with small groups of people in online artwork parties. During these parties I was able to show videos where I got to explain the deeper meaning behind my artwork pieces and really hear people’s stories and what exactly what people around them were going through and connect them with the perfect gift they could get for those they love.  It was such a rewarding and special set of parties and I got to meet so many beautiful women. Plus I got to do all of those from my home on my own schedule. 
  • January 1st, I deactivated my personal Facebook. I was finding myself having underlying levels of guilt, after cutting my friend list from over 600 to around 250 that helped a lot. Ultimately though I had to get really real that me being at home and having endless access to “check in” was costing me many minutes once I added it all up.  Now after 2 months after being away I can see that the part I was really reluctant to admit to myself was that there was a continuous feeling of static in the back of my mind. Anywere I was, anything I was doing; I always felt like there was something else I was supposed to be doing.  I don’t know if everyone feels that, but for me stepping away has allowed me to feel so present in my day to day life.  At some point I’m sure I’ll get back on but for now it feels like the right choice for me.
  • I don’t do networking groups.  Or mommy groups.  Here is what I know about me. My go to emotion is guilt. I really want to honor and connect with people once I let them into my world.  What can seem like a fun one time, meet new people networking experience for most people leaves me feeling flaky and unreliable after the fact.  I connect with people and then within my daily life I have no room for follow up.  I am not available to do follow up coffee meetups, business meetings in person or mommy activities.  So instead I’ve chosen to honor this time and know that someday I may want to dive back in and network and meet more people and really give it my all then I will do so with joy. For right now though I feel fulfilled with those in my life and the simplicity of our day to day.
  • I don’t do phone calls or in person meetings if at all possible.  Artwork is visual and for me sharing information via email or online works best.  I am choosing right now not to do a ton of in person events.  What I have found also is on my deeper, more intuitive based artwork projects I attain better results if I don’t have phone conversations with my clients.  That my sound strange but I hate the phone. I don’t like talking to new people on the phone and it drains my energy.  So knowing that I choose to keep my internal energy high and my intuitive energy at it’s deepest level by honoring them.  This will change at some point, but for me right now with a kiddo in tow and a routine we stick to it is what works best for me.
  • Choosing to drive used cars.  We don’t do car payments and all our cars (4) are paid for in full.  I was especially glad the other night (when I hit a deer a few hundred yards from our driveway) that I don’t worry about scratches or other life things that seem to happen out here. For the record the deer jumped back up and was fine and so was my car.  Someday we’ll get some nicer cars but for now, this works great for us.  I’m grateful that Bruce knows how to fix cars and keeps them all running.  I think the biggest thing has been to disconnect our feelings of self worth from the cards we drive. Yes, of course it is fun to drive a super new, decked out car and we had fun last year when we rented a car for a weekend and chose a new BMW suv. It was really fun.  But I don’t feel like less of a person because our cars are from both the 90’s and early 2000’s.  I actually feel great pride and think of the other things we have been able to do with that time instead of having to spend it making money to pay for upgraded cars. Right now, I prefer more family time.
  • Minimalism – we have gotten rid of so much extra stuff over the last few years.  6 months after getting married and combining our lives (stuff) my mom passed and over the next couple years our garage filled up with furniture, decor, clothes and candles that were hers.  It’s taken almost a decade but we finally feel like we have just a few really special things that help me remember her but don’t need to have our whole house stuffed with things.  We spend less time organizing, cleaning and moving things which has freed up not only time but also energy for the things we really want to spend it on.
  • We don’t have cable. We have a roku with netflix and amazon and a couple other channels.  We don’t dvr things.  So yes, we miss things that are on tv quite often.  Years ago I spent so much time watching tv and scheduling out what things would be recorded and learning about new shows but now it has faded.  But somehow I’m still okay.  This past year I’ve bingewatched; Heartland, Hart of Dixie, Hallmark’s Home is where the heart it and a few other shows that everyone else enjoyed years ago.  I’m okay with that.  They are coming into my life at the perfect time for me to really savor them and enjoy them.
  • Diminishing toxic relationships.  We can’t always completely avoid people who bring negativity into our lives but I strive to eliminate unnecesary drama or people I don’t trust.  Today I don’t have to spend much time or energy on this but years ago I had a list of people in my life who I knew I needed to move on from. I send them love and I chose to limit or cut them out out completely and it’s been life changing.
  • We talk in the language of love.  If you where a fly on the wall in our home you would hear my 6 year old talk about how his heart is exploding with love. How he happy cried in the car yesterday while looking at the sunset and again last night when we all sat on the floor working on legos with him.  We talk about our love, what eachother mean to us and share gratitude fr
    eely. Even while having a 16 year old daughter I love that we can talk so openly and validate feelings, our intuition and have worked so hard to make our home a peaceful respite in contrast to a sometimes crazy and stressful world. 

I share some of these things because I know so many people do fill so much of their day’s doing things they “should” do instead of really allowing themselves to schedule in breathing room, space and peacefulness.  We want to make the people around us happy and sometimes we let the rule over that little feeling in our gut that knows something doesn’t feel like it fits anymore.  Give yourself permission to honor peacefulness as much as success and knowledge in other subjects.  It will make every area of your life better.  I’ve experienced the death’s of loved ones, a divorce, multiple moves, and defining and developing my business. Then later marrying a wonderful man and making choices that move me closer year after year towards a life I really connect with (including working really hard to un-learn so much I’ve been tought growing up.) That journey has led me to now has given me this gift of a chapter of contentment.  I feel so grateful, even grateful for the really tough times that make me even more grateful each day for good times.  I know life will be full of ups and downs and times where I can’t wait to be around people and others where I again crave solitude and quiet, but for now in this moment…  it feels so right.

Sending you all love!

How to create an inspired outdoor space that’ll make you swoon

I have decided that I really want to spend more time outdoors this year.  Relaxing, inspired, bug free time.  So I put it on our budget for this spring to find a gazebo tent with screened sides.

As we searched every online site we could, we ended up finding one that was clearanced out for 1/2 off and ended up being just under $250.  SCORE!   Step one was complete, now for how to find inspiration.

  • I started by finding a shower curtain that I could hang on the back wall.  This helped set the mood and color scheme for the decor.  I chose a fabric shower curtain for two reasons; a) they are more durable than many fabrics and have been sewn around the edges and hemmed.   b) they already have holes cut at the top for a rod (or in our case zip ties).
  • Next I found a chandelier at a garage sale.  I found this one for $5.  It works, it was just a less trendy color of brass.   I gathered up other items that I wanted in the tent.  A basket for reading magazines, some twinkle lights, etc.

DSCN0059

 

  • I found indoor/outdoor spray paint and painted the basket and chandelier in this great deep teal color.  (the pictures make them look different but the color of the basket below is more accurate)

 

  • DSCN0062

 

  • We’ve had a coffee table that I made in high school laying around in our garage for years, so we took that out and decided to add repurposed fending boards to the top.  I cut them all down so they overlapped the top by about 3/4″ on each side.  I then faux distressed a few boards with some white paint and painted the legs of the table white.

 

DSCN0057

  • Now that we had all the pieces, we started assembling it all.  My hubby and I strung up the chandelier from the top, center.  Then took these great white lightes and strung them around the inside of the top. We made it so both cords met up on the same back corner and we zip tied an extension cord in the corner.
  • The original back curtain I had bought wasn’t going to be wide enough, so I found 2 more brown ones on clearance and put those on the sides of the middle one.  I love when things work out perfectly; I was looking for something to hang the curtains from in the garage and I found a 1″ piece of pvc piping that was exactly the right length. AMAZING.   So I got a bunch of zip ties and I zip tied every other hole to the pole.  Then we zip tied the bar to the top of the tent at different points.
  • On the table I added one of my hand painted wine bottle torches.  This one happens to be one that was used at our wedding reception luau so it holds extra sentimental meaning for us.
  • 242

Here is our finished results:

Finished_Gazebo_Tent

A few other side notes – we plan on keeping this gazebo tent together in this part of the yard for years, so we anchor bolted the legs to concrete blocks on each corner.  If you have tent sides you could also place those behind the fabric background to add protection from the weather.  This tent was going to go in a space right next to our future bunkhouse but instead we decided to put on a different side of our yard that is at the top of a hill so it’s pretty windy.  So my hubby put a couple sheets of plywood behind the curtain and anchored them to 2 metal yard stakes.  This helps prevent the curtain from blowing around.  (similar to if we would have backed it up to a fence or building).

We have this one about 20 feet from our fire pit so it’s incredibly relaxing out there.  If possible I highly recommend putting in a part of your yard where you can relax, the original spot we almost put it left us looking at all the projects we still had to work on so we realized it would be as relaxing there.

One more project checked off our list here at the Little house on the hill.  We have almost been here 1 year now, it’s hard to believe.  We are loving every minute.

Wishing you an inspired day!

Noelle_Signature

I may never be bad enough

I had an eye opening conversation last week. Maybe you can relate.

A conversation with someone (we’ll call her Sara).  She twisted around everything she could into this negative competition.  At one point she said to me, “Your parents protected you so I know that you can’t even imagine some of the things I’ve seen.  You’ve never known pain like my family has.”

hmmm.

I found myself trying to console this woman and out of concern for something someone in her family is going through I used one of my past experiences as a bridge into seeing if her family member was okay and needed help.   Again, after telling me that what I had been through is the best of what this girl is going though and that again I’ve never known pain.  I surrendered and realized the conversation we were having was just a playback of the loop that this women tells herself every day.  She’s the martyr, she’s getting some sort of payoff in her mind by telling herself this story.

I left just feeling weird though about the conversation.  I wasn’t about to get into a tit for tat conversation about who indeed has gone through more pain.  What a waste of time.  But it did get me thinking…

It’s a naive thing to compare pain.  Even something like divorce, or cancer or a death can send one person spiraling into their darkest days while others use those times to thrive, get clarity and vow to live a life they’d otherwise been scared to.

How people cope is never the same. Some need others, some quietly cry in their own privacy.

 

Don’t EVER let someone make you feel Less than worthy because you haven’t responded to life by their set rules or expectations.   I’m grateful today at 36 I am comfortable enough in my being that I didn’t need to get affirmed by this woman or deemed “to have suffered a sufficient amount to avoid her judgement”.    At 20, 26 or even 30…. who knows how I would have responded.

 

Whether it’s mean comments on blogs, online posts, videos, social media.  People are quick to cut others down.  Instead of being scared of this, consider it a compliment if it ever happens to you.   Rise above it and gather a network of people around you who are too busy making shit happen, having fun and loving life to be worrying whether or not they’ve suffered enough or are shining their light too bright.    Be grateful for the clarity to see past that dark and sad place of judgement and anger.   Build a life that lights you up, surrender to your wise self!

 

Wishing you an incredible week and 4th!!

LetFreedomRing

They wanted to know so I thought I’d let you know also

Good evening,

 

There is only 1 week left until the big launch of Finding Myself in the Moonlight!!

 

I’ve gotten a handful of questions from women looking to participate in the Finding Myself in the Moonlight e-course.  I wanted to answer them all for you here.

 

Q: You’re not a therapist, how do you know how to help me?

A:  True story, I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.  I don’t pretend to be, I believe that life’s answers come to us from many places, each a different piece of a giant puzzle. A therapist or counselor is a different piece than mine. I have something that some of them do not have, I’ve lived through finding my most authentic, soulful self, that’s why I feel confident in helping others do the same.  In my early 20’s I’ve gone from trusting myself, being confident and taking the world by storm, to later feeling isolated, unsure, angry and depressed.  I have lived the changes that come with moving across the country, working for others and owning my own business and having  (recovering) from multiple surgeries.

I’ve waded through the devastating waters of divorce, miscarriage and unexpectedly losing a parent too young. I’ve held the hand of a dear friend while she got chemo and I’ve organized an intervention for a loved one facing addiction.  I have people that cheer me on and “get” what I do and I have people that don’t like me, that judge me and that think being an artist is not a valid career.  If I didn’t figure out a way to be content and in love with ME then I probably wouldn’t get out of bed many of the days during these past events. Fortunately I’ve always been a seeker of answers and learning from people. I’ve used the lessons I’ll share with you to feel confident in my role in the world, my family and career.

Today, I can honestly say that I wake up 99% of days feeling content, blissful and grateful for my life. But be sure that my happiness is not because I’ve never experience hard times. It’s because I’ve survived, grown, soul searched, cried, and learned as I did the hard work it took to be the person I am today.  It’s my life mission to help share what I’ve learned with others.

 

Q: What does this course have to do with the moonlight?

A:  Technically this course has nothing to do with moonlight however symbolically this course IS the moonlight. When we feel like we are in the dark, in our own space with no one watching, I imagine this course and the women involved are each giving us the space to make changes, decisions and declare our intentions for our lives without the pressure of everyone analyzing as we do.  We will bring our best selves into the light again!

 

Q: I don’t see anything about Religion, if I am religious will I connect with this course?

A:  Yes, the beauty about helping people be their own most authentic selves is that there is room for each participant to filter all topics through their own Religion or spiritual beliefs.  I have created this course so that people of any religion or those who are not religious should all feel at home and welcomed.

 

Q: Will you offer this course again this year?

A:  At this point I’m not planning to.  I do have a vision to do a larger, more in-depth course called Dancing in the Moonlight. The later course will feature interviews with women who are living amazing, authentic lives. It will dive deeper into the areas from this course and we will also work more in areas of having a vision for our life, connecting with own light, honoring our truest calling, rising above the outpouring of drama and negativity that we are flooded with in our world.  That course will be a higher financial investment, so this current finding myself e-course is a great way to dive in and start the work in these areas at a lower price point.

 

Q: My work and home life schedules are never the same from day to day, will I have to be at my computer at a certain time each day?

A:  This is on of the perks of doing an e-course, you will receive the materials and then you can watch the videos and view the lessons at your leisure.  So you can make this course fit your schedule. This is great for people that work various shifts or are super busy.

 

I am SO looking forward to sharing this online time, heart and experience with you.   None of us need to do it alone!

Invest in yourself with 2 monthly payments of $35 each here

or pay the $68 in full here.

 

Class begins in 1 week on Sunday January 19th! 

 

**Noelle

 

 

Do you ask for what you want?

I just watched this video, it’s a brilliant PR move and so incredible to even watch and feel the joy for these people.

You can watch this video here:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/12/09/viral-airline-stages-magnificent-christmas-miracle-for-hundreds-of-lucky-passengers/

As I sobbed my way through, smiling and laughing I had another thought also.  This situation is so much like life.  Some of us expect great and powerful lives, others expect very little. And often we get what we ask for.  I’m gonna get deep here.  It’s one thing to casually throw out ‘dreams and wishes” and expect them, it’s a whole other thing to know in every fiber of your being that you are called to be a part of something, live somewhere, have things. You are worthy, you  are deserving.   When you focus on what you don’t have the energetic vibration you are putting out into the world is that of lack, not enough. You will attract that.

In applying this to my own life here is what my takeaways are:

1. I know that I’m being called to move our family somewhere else.  I love being near our families and friends but it’s as if chapter is closing and it’s no longer in alignment with my or Bruce’s calling and purpose.  No matter how much we are trying to convice ourselves to stay put, suck it up and that it’s safe and comforatble we know different.

2. It is really easy for me to go into my default way of thinking and curse the cold, dread going outside this time of year and focus on knowing the details of this calling.  Where are we supposed to move? How will we financially make a living there? What about the benefits we have here? What about the kids and their friends that they’ll miss. On and on.

3. In trusting the bigger picture it’s vital for us to do a handful of things:

     a. Visualize the feelings I feel when I think of being in the perfect place (for our family). Imagine everything working out, the jobs fall into place.

     b. Don’t get stuck in my perception of reality right now and all the things that appear to be conflicting.  Example – I will miss my siblings and their kids, our parents and grandparents are aging, does this make us selfish?  How is Bruce going to make what he makes now? He’ll lose his senority, benefits, etc.

     c. We must live our lives here in Minnesota with as much happiness, fun, and gratefullness as possible. Appreciate it, savor it. Knowing this won’t make us stuck here but it will put us in a vibrational match with the feelings we want to have. (Wherever we live.)

     d. Make room for miracles.  We have been de-cluttering. Asking ourselves of every item we own, “would we still want that if it meant we had to move it?”  many times the answer is no.  So it goes.  Lightening up is both literally making room for miracles and decluttering our thought process and spirit so we can spend less time cleaning, moving and walking around things that no longer serve our vision or life.   This also includes financial preparations; saving money to move, paying down things, doing fixes on the house to rent it or sell it.  Anything that will hold up the process when that place we are meant to be calls our name and steps forward.

4. Honor the knowing, not the ego.   I no longer feel the need to constantly explain why I feel called to move.  The biggest thing I looked at internally however is “am I running away from anything?”  I think a couple years ago when I wanted to move the answer was yes.  So I’ve stayed, worked through the muck, done lots of deep soul work, the repairing and understanding of relationships. I can say with certainty that we are making changes that are in complete alignment with why we have been put here on this planet, at this time.  It’s connecting more with ourselves, honoring ourselves and trusting.  Knowing it will fall into place when the time is right.

 

So back to the video, it also made me wonder – there is a guy who asks for socks and underwear. necessary parts of life. But do you think he was a little pissed when he saw the next family ask for a big screen tv (and get it)?  Do you think he kicked himself for not thinking bigger?  Not in a selfish, greedy way but maybe he needed a new dishwasher or something really valid.   Just a thought worth pondering.

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So it all comes down to this.   The universe, God, source, energy is asking you every day what you want.  And from a deep, spiritual, loving place you can stand up and claim what you need and want. But many of us never do.  We stay little, we don’t want to make waves or seem “different” or crazy.  So we don’t dig deep enough to find that place in ourselves that is peaceful and authentic.  We are so caught up in our stories. All the reasons why things can’t be.  We need to let go of those.  This can take moments or years, some people never will let go of all their story or victim mentality.  There are so many great coaches, speakers, pastors, online courses that can help us do this.  Some of the things I’ve done and I continue to do so that have helped me learn to listen and release the past:  I’ve cried, prayed, talked, meditated, had dreams, re-birthed (breathing technique), released blocks on a cellular level and pulled cords, re-lived emotions letting myself cry them out and re-enact them releasing their hold on me. I’ve worked with coaches, learned breathing techniques, found connection with people who are wise, supportive and loving. I create vision boards, lists of goals. Done acupuncture visit my chiropractor bi-weekly, this makes sure my body if functioning and the nerves are unblocked and my energy is flowing. I pray some more.  Then I make sure to sit and listen. Not to an external voice but an inner knowing that arises.   I also use my art and journaling as a release.

It sounds like work but I savor every one of those items on that list. Like a gift to myself. They feel good. Like coming home.

 

Wishing you peace and love!!

 

 

 

a day that changed it all – by getting really real

It’s Wednesday. Oct 23, 2013.  It’s cold outside today in the 30’s.  I’m crabby. We’re just coming off a full moon.  Aunt Flo has overstayed her welcome and I’m exhausted. I have been wanting to either yell or cry all day.  Finally, tonight at 7pm I started crying. I walked outside to the garage to get something and just started crying and crying. Praying, pleading for a sign that I’m on the right track with my art career.

Today is the day in 2 different online groups I’m in I did something I’ve never done. I confessed I’m having a bit of a breakdown, I don’t have it all together and I’m scared. I feel like I can’t tell if I’m wildly succeeding in going for my dreams and this is a good scared, or if I’m failing miserably.  I have such big dreams I’m going for and here’s the thing; they are SO deeply personal and close to my heart that it can almost be paralyzing to me when I need to reach out to the next step.  Being an artist is intertwined through my every cell so sometimes I don’t know who to find a healthy distance so that I can take chances without my whole heart involved.

This is the day that I realized there are moments where those completely opposite results and visions of success and failure are only a  sliver apart.  I always pictured success as a road going in the complete opposite direction of failure. So it was obvious to everyone involved what road any person was on at any given time. And furthermore… to get on the other road you’d first have to backstep and trace your path back to a nuetral point and THEN begin on the other path.  I NEVER knew that they can go parallel, criss cross and even merge together here and there and that sometimes you wouldn’t even know what one you were on.  Holy Shitballs.

As I posted my plea for help online the thing that scared me most is that no one would care to help give me advice. I would be invisible.  I cried out of fear as I posted all of my worries.  Then minutes later I cried in amazement and gratefullness as my cyberspace soul sisters poured their support and wisdom my way.

Today is the day my gratitude shifted. A deeper thank you for each person that takes the time to respond to a newsletter I send out, to “like” a new picture I post online of my artwork to even respond to a personal email.

Today is the day I realized I have mindset issues. When I see someone left me feedback on an Etsy purchase and I click on it I hold my breath hoping it’s not bad. Why am I like this? I love myself, yet where does the doubt come from. The fear of confessing what everyone around me already knows. The fear of saying, “Guess what, I don’t have all my shit together”. Intellectually I understand that no one does.  I applaud for the underdogs in stories. I weep out of joy when people go for their dreams.  Why can’t I feel that same appreciation for myself?

Today is the day I realized I don’t know how to be vulnerable.  And do you know who are the most vulnerable?  Those that don’t think they are… and that is not a good thing. It feels like the joke is on me.

Today at 11pm is when I did my Brene Brown and Oprah homework for their online course, this is when I gave myself permission to do the following:

Be shallow, ask questions, give a 100% and maybe still fail, to experiment, to take long baths, to be wrong sometimes, to be crabby or tired or angry… unapologetically at times.  To not apologize for crying, believing in mediums and pyschics and all kinds of woo woo things.  Today is the day that I give myself permission to explore a part time job that will add to my skillset and business goals.

Today I stop worrying what people will think. I will go balls to the walls for my business and my family.  I will make phone calls, get shit done and fight for my dreams.  I know through EVERY cell of my body that one of my soul’s missions here on earth is to work with women. To help them live their most authentic, soulful and inspired lives. I know I do this through my artwork, my stories and community.  I know this. I believe it in. I know I have a story to tell that will help women.  I know that the crap I have gone through in my life is not so that I can sit here now feeling sorry for myself. It’s been my greatest teacher.  I believe in my artwork’s message.  I surrender on what the universe has planned for me on how I will get it out to those who need it.

 

Reflections from a week later: It’s amazing how tough things can be when we are in the middle of it. It’s hard to see beyond our perspective and the big picture.  It’s hard to know how we’re coming off to others, how many things we should be really proud of ourselves for.   You know what else I can say now, I am vulnerable. I am vulnerable throughout painting every painting and presenting it to the world. For writing poetry to go with it not sure if anyone will connect with it. Walking a line between the different parts of my personality; flowy, spiritual artist and obsessive list maker who gets a natural high from budgeting and doing accounting.  I am my friend, a messy, blurred ball of contradictions, good intentions, dreams and mostly love.  This week I’m perfectly content with that.

 

 

On the surface

On the surface you think you get IT.  But girl, dig deeper.

“IT” isn’t just it.  

IT is the connection to the tide that IS your soul’s purpose.

Integrate what your soul knows it’s here to do into everything you touch, speak of and love.

Each word, thought and smile is another drop of energy and depth into the tide.

As the energy builds, enjoy it as you are swept up and carried by the tide you’ve built of courage, purpose and love that makes the ocean of your destiny.

~ Noelle

original artwork: “Escape” – 24″x24″ on masonite with wood backing frame. Ready to hang.  Click image for more details.

 

On the 10th Day of Christmas

On this 10th day of Christmas I offer an original Crossroads Painting for someone to win!

Chaos on one side and calm on the other, she holds her head high. She’s classy, she’s got this.  This artwork is a great reminder to work to handle so many different life situations with such grace.  This artwork is 11″x14″ on canvas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To enter to win, leave a comment on this blog post by midnight tonight.   Make sure to follow this blog and/or join my mailing list to stay in the loop.  Only 2 more days left after today of giveaways, make sure to check back.

Have a great day!     Also, Renee was the winner of the yoga print set from yesterdays drawing.  Congrats Renee!!!  I have a surprise though, not only will Renee be getting the print set plus a bonus,  I’m sending each person who entered yesterdays drawing a free surprise!   Happy 12-12-12!!!

 

 

Noelle