It’s a cold, make that very cold few days here in Minnesota, because of that the kids are off school today and Bruce’s shop closed for the day so we are all cozied inside playing games and watching movies.
I wanted to take a few minutes to connect with you and share a few very personal lessons I’ve learned.
Some of you may not know why I feel so passionate about helping women re-find themselves and their place in this world. It’s a very raw story and I share it with you with the intent of using the lessons learned from it to help other families never go through what mine did. My new e-course starts in a couple weeks and it’s not just a class to me, it’s about women coming together and helping each other through the life’s variety of paths and making space for our lights to shine.
I think back to 2008 feeling so helpless, shedding tears yet again, trying to figure out what I could do or say to help my dear, sweet mother. I was watching the woman I looked up to my whole life not see her value in the world. It broke my heart.
I don’t want ANYONE to feel what I felt then. Sadly I’m learning it’s a silent epidemic that people everywhere are going through, thinking they are alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
While my mother was an expert at creating the best family get togethers, giving the perfect gift or even cutting our hair when we were young, later on she didn’t take enough time in her life to stop and invest in her own well being. Her joys, her passions, her friends, the way she could connect with the world and what she had to offer it all took a back seat to making sure everyone else around her had what they needed. Those last 20 years it was all about her family.
On one hand, as a member of her family this was an amazing gift she gave us. We all had a best friend on standby ready to help us, hear about what we needed to say and help us figure out lifes messes. On the other hand had she taken time for her self, learned to say no more often and had better boundaries I believe she would still be here today. Regardless of whether that last part is true, undoubtedly she would have had a much more joyous last few years here on earth.
She passed away unexpectedly from pancreatitis in January of 2009.
I can’t speak for the other people in her life but I can share the lessons I learned from those days, her death and the years following.
I made a vow to myself that I would help women just like my mom; Beautiful, loving, wise, strong women. This was a woman who raised 5 kids and had more love for people than I’ve ever seen. The thing is her feeling bad didn’t happen over night. It came after years of her taking on more than she needed, thinking things would get better on their own. Choosing to think that there was something wrong with her instead of realizing her emotions were very normal for someone going through what she was. Also, feeling shame that she couldn’t fix everything she felt and that was happening around her.
I learned a few very important things in the following months.
1) Taking on everyone else’s problems and not having healthy boundaries can actually, really kill you.
2) We all think we have forever. We don’t. It’s so important we spend our lives doing things that matter, that make a difference and then are in alignment with our truest selves.
3) You can’t take the stuff with you. Don’t spend your life focused on things. It’s the love, memories and wisdom you shared during your life that matters after you’re gone.
4) Shame is deadly. Don’t let yourself live in shame. Get help if you need it, pray, ask for forgiveness, talk to those who care about you. Often the power those things we are so scared of others knowing have over us are diminished once we talk about them.
5) No matter how much you want to fix the problems of someone around you, they have to be willing to do the work and WANT TO CHANGE. You CAN’T do it for them.
6) If you are noticing that you are feeling sad, out of sorts or you’ve lost your confidence and aren’t sure what your life is about as you enter a new chapter then please know that there are resources out there for you and YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Even if you don’t take my e-course or resonate with the other things I’m saying please listen to this one thing: If you aren’t feeling well, or your intuition tells you something isn’t right, please get help, get checked out. My mom passed away of pancreatitis. A very curable condition if caught in time. Be proactiv with your health. That includes your mental health. Talk to someone, journal, find an online group that fits what you’re needing. If you have a family member going through this, I understand how awkward it can be to have these tough conversations but try to have them, lovingly. If you can’t say it, try to write a heartfelt letter or have a qualified 3rd party help in communicating the message and hope of getting through it.
The thing is, I hope to reach women much earlier than those darkest days, so none of us will never have to feel that despair. Even if you don’t know what it is that you should be focusing on, we’ll be laying out a variety of topics to help get you started in the right direction. Equally important to the information is the community this e-course will bring. Loving, wise, compassionate women, each with their own gifts.
If you are interested in really honest, open coversations about the subjects above and more, please join me for the Finding Myself in the Moonlight e-course!
You can learn more information and watch videos about the course here.
I have a great new payment option also if you would like to break up the enrollment into 2 payments.
The online journey starts in a couple weeks on January 19th!! Click the links or the photo