My life, like yours has unmistakable life events that shape how I catalog the timeline of any event in my mind: high school, college, the day I had my daughter, when I met Bruce, the day my mom died, the day I had my son. The last 4 are most easily identified with love. I didn’t know what love was until I had my daughter, I admire her spunk, boldness and her heart. I’ll never forget the day when she was only 2, we were living in Dallas and visiting my then husbands grandma in the hospital. My daughter walked over and got her great grandmas slippers for her, set them on her bed and then rubbed her feet a little before helping her with them. Unprompted, thoughtful and compassionate.
I thought I knew what it was like to love a man, then when I met my husband I knew that my heart grew and I not only loved him but I loved who let me be when I was with him and who we are together.
The day I lost my mom is the day that shattered my old reality. I hadn’t ever thought about it while she was here but now I look back at the first 30 years of my life so differently. I refer to it as my innocence period. I always knew my family was close, loving and supportive of each other. But my mom, she was (is) love. She made every holiday so special, she’d whip up gourmet meals and just beg us to come over and let her try out new recipes. Christmas was like it is in the movies, I love how she held all of our family, friends, relatives together. Much of it was a thankless job. We did thank her but we really didn’t get how amazing it all was until after she was gone. I’ll never forget planning my sister’s baby shower a couple of months after my mom’s passing. Suddenly it was up to us to do all the food (wow parties require a lot of food… and wow, food is expensive when buying that much!). The gifts, the decor, the perfect music, and extra touches that take a party from ‘eh to ahhh. She was a master at these and we wanted to re-create them. I know without a doubt that she is still around here and there. I know she got to meet my son before I did and I see glimpses of her especially in my daughter and her loving nature. My biggest spiritual test also happened when my mom passed away; I knew what I had believed my whole life happened but then when my mom’s soul was no longer in her body I wanted to do everything I could to verify my beliefs and know that she was in a good place. I found myself with a hunger for knowledge and studying on the afterlife, angels, ghosts, heaven, near death experiences others have had and what they said it was like. I have talked with a few mediums, tarot card readers and learned to listen to my own inner voice, look for signs and oh the dreams I’ve had… AMAZING. I’ve discovered I fully believe in angels, heaven, I even had the most amazingly comforting visit from my mom the night after she passed. I talked with a couple mediums that were so accurate on what they told me and had messages that provided so much specific peace for me and my loved ones and a couple that I felt like were in over their head and not so accurate. Most of all I’ve learned that these things have increased my faith and spirituality. I shy more away from many organized religious structures the last few years and more into my personal relationship with God. I am seeing the correlation between faith and intuition. They are different threads of the same muscle. The more I quiet down and listen to my intuition, my inner voice, the greater my spiritual connection is to God, myself and others.
Which leads me to that last life changing event; my son. This is a boy that was so destined to be a part of our family. He perfectly fits, like the fourth side of our square, the balancing energy and he’s so full of love.
My spirituality has grown so much deeper in the last few years, I’ve changed my perspective so much from the more rigid views I’ve heard around me in my life. I truly believe that 99% of all religions should focus on love and our human similarities instead of people’s differences, guilt and man-made rules. Love yourself, love others, love God, love that you are a part of Him, love what gifts he gave you, love the earth, love your family. The last 1 percent is all the other stuff. I have been studying parts of many religions the last few years, connecting with the parts of them that revolve around connection, peace and love.
Heart chakra meditation is a technique to release sadness and fear and bring compassion and love into your life. You can find more info here at www.yogabasics.com/meditation/heartMeditation.html