My goal this week has been to put into words what my (and my family’s) actual dream is for our next chapter. For too long I’ve been scared to say it out loud, it felt too big, too daring, too perfect.
It’s funny because I generally am very open, I pour my heart and soul into my artwork, poetry, and writing. I openly share the deepest parts of my grief, my health, my finances, and even my mental blocks. For some reason though this felt big. On the same level of when Bruce and I has spent years crunching numbers and figuring out how we could move out of our last home.
The numbers never showed our goal was possible. There were so many what ifs. We were upside down in our home. We had just spent over a year paying off debt and were cash poor. Even if we could break even on our house how could we afford the down payment, closing costs and overall expenses that come with selling and then buying a house? Not to mention the houses in our old neighborhood were selling for 20-40k less than what we owed on ours. It seemed hopeless. I remember so clearly that spring night in 2015. After a long stretch of crunching the numbers and feeling defeated we decided the sensible thing to do was to wait one more year.
We were happy enough, life was good. We’d be okay.
But something kept tugging at me. I believe deep down in my heart that we are here for more than “okay”. I believe in energy, goals, intention, attracting things into our lives. So after thinking and feeling it out through the night, I decided that next day, no we are not going to wait. We will try. Will do all we can to create the change we want and let the universe (God) fill in the gaps for us. It was meant to be, then it would work out. If it wasn’t then we’d be no worse off and we’d wait the year.
That day I started packing up boxes. I started in the kitchen and main areas with things that I knew were extra, things we could go without for the next year if need be. That day I casually shared that photo of those packed boxes on social media and shared our dream. How could I have known that my near life long best friend would see it and would lead us to our now home. It fell into place beyond what we could have ever hoped. We were able to put our house on the market within a month or so. We got offers on it within a day. (for more than we owed!). Amazing.
We were able to rent the house we are in now for a couple months while we got the cash together for the down payment. The rest is history. We love our home here.
So that leads me to now. My dream (and my family’s) is to get my husband out of his job altogether. We want to bring him in on my business. Then spend part of the year here working on the business and creating inventory, artwork, etc and the rest slow traveling. Our oldest is graduation this spring and heading off to college this fall and since we homeschool the youngest it’s the first time in 13 years that we won’t be tied to a public school schedule or location. Sweet Hallelujah!
I’ve had this deep down relentless feeling for over a decade that part of my calling here on Earth is beyond the United States. The hard part is I don’t know exactly what that means. Here comes the trusting part. My goal is to work towards spending 2-5 months a year travelling. We’d live in various spots throughout the United States and around the world. Part slow travel, part meeting others and sharing life, inspiration, dreams from people around the world. Weeks or even months in a country and deeply learning about it, it’s people, cultures, landscapes and subtleties. Connecting people, bringing people together. Something bigger than what I can see and figure out right now. This may involve art, but truthfully I don’t know.
So my first steps are that I’m working on are:
- To grow my business, this includes bringing a debuting a handful of ornament designs to Amazon Prime, I’m focusing more on writing this year. I’ll be submitting articles and stories to publications. I’m also writing my book on Sacred Hellos, uplifting stories and inspiration after loss.
- I really want to have a variety of online classes helping women from the US and around the world in both life, business, and creativity. You can see my current classes I want to offer here. I’m paying attention to the numbers on the email list for each class to determine which classes will come to fruition. You can find those classes here. Please add yourself to the mailing list for any classes you are interested in. This won’t lock you in to that class but it will help me know where the demand is and you’ll be the first to hear about it when it does open up for registration.
- Simplifying life. I’m taking this very seriously and making several “stop doing” lists. This is vital. I know that I can’t take more and more on and continue to do any of it with heart or quality.
- Getting really real and vulnerable. Writing this all out and sharing it with the world goes against every part of my ego. It’d be so much easier to try to do this behind the scenes. Then if it worked out, share it all. Or if things didn’t then no one (but me) would know the difference. But, deep down I know that I’m needing to reach out. I’m needing others. I’m needing support and encouragement, ideas, connections, clients, friends, and probably hugs when you see me. It feels raw and scary.
However, and I know that I have an incredible ability to manifest when I don’t have one foot on the gas and one on the brake. So this is me, opening up, putting both feet on the gas, sharing, setting the intention and letting the universe once again fill in what I can’t.
If you asked me what my superpower is, it may surprise you to hear that I wouldn’t say art. My answer would be that I’m a noticer. I notice things and love to observe subtle behaviors and patterns. I am constantly trying to learn from the world around me and translate what I see into relatable art, stories, theories.
Getting to take in cultures, stories, nature from all over lights me up. I have this deep down feeling that there are some new ideas and inspiration that will come from those journeys that I need to experience and bring back here with me.
If you’re still reading, I thank you. I thank you for being here. I ask for your energetic support. You can follow along with me in the coming path here and also on Facebook, Instagram, and I’m thinking a bit of youtube as well. I’ll add my custom links to those in case you want to follow along on any of those.
I’d love to hear from you. Have you had to make a big (and somewhat scary) change? Was your process similar to mine or different? I’d love to hear from you about it. Here is all I ask. If you have encouraging words to send our way please do. If you have fears, doubts, your sister’s friend who tried it and failed… I don’t want to hear about it. I’ve spent years doing research and talking with people, at this point I’m surrounding myself with supportive energy only. So I politely ask you to refrain from sharing.
As we all try to live our our most authentic lives, I’m sending you each love and well wishes!